Burned Toast

A one-act play; 18 script pages.


  • HANK THE COWDOG, a ranch dog
  • DROVER, a little mutt
  • PETE THE BARNCAT, Hank's arch-enemy
  • ALFRED, a five year old boy
  • SALLY MAY, a stressed mother and wife
  • GRANDMA, Sally May's mother-in-law


One hour before her mother-in-law is due to arrive for a visit, Sally May is ready. The house is cleaned, lunch is in the oven, Alfred is scrubbed and dressed. She has a whole hour to get herself cleaned up. But while she’s in the shower, bad things happen in the yard. Hank and Pete fight over table scraps. Alfred turns on the garden hose, plays in the mud, and empties the pressure tank of water. Hank eats a glob of bacon grease and gets deathly sick. When Sally May comes outside in her robe and slippers, she trips over the dog and steps on his uneasy stomach, causing poor Hank to purge his system of the “toxic bacon grease.” Unfortunately, he does it in Sally May’s shoe. She is trying to strangle the dog when Grandma walks up: “Yoo hoo, I’m early!” This domestic comedy will resonate.

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